Almost the end.

Yesterday, driving back home from work, I had a moment of intense fear. I was following the same old route I usually take to go home, turning onto the off ramp of the highway, towards the service road. To my right, oncoming cars, trucks, and vehicles, going about their daily business. to my left, the small, tiny ramp seperating the road, and the steep hill, down towards the highway. Visions flashed before my eyes, my hands tightly griped the sterring wheel. My knuckles went white. I clenched my teeth really hard. The urge was so strong, it was as if the little, tiny ramp was challenging me to bump my truck against it. Is was tough to not do it. It was very tough. My hands remained steady, the wheels of my truck still in a straight line, and all was good. I cannot begin to explain the intense feeling of wanting to do it, just to see if I could survive, and if so, what kind of condition I would be in afterwards. Was it the daily boredom of always doing the same damn thing, day in and day out ? Was it the music that was droning into my skull, driving me mad? I could not dare to think that the Eddie Vedder soundtrack of "Into the Wild" could do that to a man. What happened to me? What made me think of that? what drove me to hold steady, all the while become quite shakey at the wheel? "What am I becoming?" I whispered to myself. Seconds past and it was all but forgotten. Later that night, the fresh memories can rushing back, as my rapid eye movement had begun, and I was drifting to sleep. I could not believe that I was once again having these thoughts. I feel asleep shortly after, sweating and shaken by what had happened earlier that day.....